I'm too weak to step on my life

I'm weak. I wanna dissapear from this world. I don't belong here... I can't move going to better life...

I have no one, I have no friends, even my family still in my home...

I prefer to spend all my time in my home... but in out of there, I'm alone. I am not anything. I am just a rubbish who everybody don't wanna it and want to trash it into recycle bin...

I am a creatur who don't have anything to used to be...

Who wanna me? No one...

But no one knows that I am a lonesome.

No one knows that I am felt so hurt deep inside of me.

I have no love eventhought I try to have it...

Or I have it and not to admit it... ?

I don't know why I become like this..

I am hiding to everyone... Invinsible... because they're terrible... wanna hurt me like they did before . what do want from me ? my happiness or just wanna see me crying alone in the middle of the night ?

I'm a slut, maybe.. I am bitch, maybe..

but I never wanted to hurt someone, especially someone who I loved so much..

but what?? they just go away from my life. kick me out to the past.

remind me to my trauma.. they hurt me deeper than the past.

they make me fly so high and let me fall from the top of high..

and I fall, tormented... and weak..

No ones help me, no ones know my trouble...

I am here, alone in the place that I never know before..

I need somebody help me to go out from this suck situation...

But, it's just a dream...

This is my way and my fate..

I'll never never feel happy... maybe until God take my soul out from my body....

why I named my blog "I bring the mask for the life" ?

Because I usually to wear a mask . Everybody have a mask of they life . It's real . Not only a a story tale for your children . .